i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Barsexuality is the new black.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
