Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
zippers are such a cool invention
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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