How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
