so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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