Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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