So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize