Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
