I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
