I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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