But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
