Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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