Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
