you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
just tell him i said nine months
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
