hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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