He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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