Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
