No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
