Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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