I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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