If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
