I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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