he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
