Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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