You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
