He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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