pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
