it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
