Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
