Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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