I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
