It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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