So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
