i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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