he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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