Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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