Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize