We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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