just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
