I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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