Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize