I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
