do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
