Say something about gay babies.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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