We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
