Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Randomize
