Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
