Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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