this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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