I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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