"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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