So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
