What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
