I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
