We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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