I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
