Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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