dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need water and some morals
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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