At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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