it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
