just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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